Over It - Kelly Murashige

The day you broke the news is the day I broke my nose.

I didn’t mean to, for the record. Most things I do are accidents. Even falling for you was something I never planned on. Breaking up with you was the only purposeful thing I’ve done.

When I saw the post announcing your engagement, I flew into a rage. I couldn’t decide whether to throw my phone, slam my head against the coffee table, or scream like Phoebe Bridgers in the outro of “I Know the End,” so I did all three at the same time—and felt something in me shatter.

I stood up for no good reason, in a state of shock. My carpet was instantly transformed into the Red Sea.

I’m sure that makes you happy. You hated my carpet. Cigarette burns in the corners. Bald spots throughout the halls. You said it looked like someone had been murdered here.

“I wish,” I replied, my head on your knee. “Then maybe the rent wouldn’t be so high.”

I don’t know why I complained. My rent must be far cheaper than the down payment you made on the house you just bought with your new fiancée.

You spelled it wrong, by the way. Fiacne is not a word.

If I were feeling generous, I could chalk it up to your excitement. You were so elated she said yes, you couldn’t be bothered to spell it right.

It’s you, though, so I know. You can’t spell for your life. Sometimes, even autocorrect can’t make sense of you.

I could, though, couldn’t I? I thought I had you all figured out. I kept thinking, He’ll get married.

I just thought it’d be to me.

I know someday, years from now, I’ll look back at this and laugh.

You think THAT’S bad? I’ll ask, swirling my water as my date unsubtly checks me out. When I found out my ex got engaged to someone else, it wasn’t just my heart that broke.

Oh, yeah. I’ll make it funny. I’ll have him rolling on the floor.

Until then, though, I’ll be bleeding. I’ll keep smiling like a fool. I’ll break bridges. Burn them down. Construct another one to nowhere.

Then one day, I’ll start from scratch and build a home without you. One with carpets so clean and white, you could almost believe I was never hurt at all.